Dealing with Depression from a Cancer Survivor

Let's talk about depression. One of my childhood heroes just passed away and it has been all over the news media and just everyone is talking about it. It makes me want to do something about awareness and try to help provide more research on the subject; depression. We need to talk about something that really is taking people’s lives, it's an illness that effects everyone around them, it's a real disease! I'm a pretty open person because I believe if I can survive cancer I should talk about my life experiences and share them. Personally I have experience serious depression that almost took my life over 10 years ago.

A year after I was diagnosed with breast cancer I went in and out of chronic depression, I was only 28 at the time. It effected every party of my life from relationships to how I looked. It took me years to get the strength and learn how to be happy with who I am inside and out. I saw so many doctors and therapist. They told me so many different diagnosis that today I manage my depression without taking anti-depressants. I'm not saying everyone can do this, I have close family members that can't handle depression without their anti-depressants and this is what is right for each individual person always see a health care professional to be advised when taking or changing medication. First, I made sure I have a great team of doctors who I see every 3 months for a full blood work up. Making sure I trust my primary doctor with everything is the key to a healthy road. He knows my whole medical history and I know he listens to what I say and has never over-looked anything! I have friends who deal with some degree of depression, it's so hard to have people even in the medical field take you seriously.

It is not something you can snap out of it is very real and very scary. You know you aren't feeling right but you don't know where to go and who can help. Like you’re missing an arm but no-one else can see that’s been hacked off your body and you’re bleeding out. To you it is very real and you feel like it's only happening to you, it starts to effect you in ways you never understood before. I had panic attacks while driving and woke up on the side of a grassy hill. It got so bad I was afraid to leave my house. I was growing agoraphobic and I didn't feel safe outside if my apartment.  What I have had to do to get doctors to listen to me and not give me 7 different pills to take, and yes I said 7.

I currently don't take 7 different medications for all the different crazy things they tried to push on me along with misdiagnosing me. I went to a therapist regularly, I exercise as much as I can. I take time for myself, I took hatha yoga classes that helped me learn how to control my breathing and mediation. I learned who I was and what I needed to be strong mentally and physically. I am currently going through different health issues and it is painful at times and I battle depression and negative thoughts every day. I learned that the best way for me to fight it was to keep busy. Keep a positive group of strong fun people around you. Friends always make you feel good when you see them. Sometimes we push our friends away when we go through depression. It's hard to keep solid people around you. I'm very lucky to have an amazing support group of women. I also have family who give me strength and let me know it’s ok to be a little crazy. Fun crazy that is!

Fashion has been my life for as far back as I can remember. I took what I love and turned it into a fun job that was for me. For years I have help run other peoples fashion businesses, so why not do what I love, and I am pretty good at, and do it for myself. So I turned to an open form aka blog to write and give people positive fashion tips, style advise and creative things along the way. I love life and all the amazing opportunities it has blessed me with. Today I am giving back to share about my life, the good the bad and the beautiful.

When I was feeling down I would turn to clothes to make me feel good. Putting together outfits made me feel good. So when I saw that teaching people about fashion and saw it made them feel good I was hooked. Fashion is about how we feel about ourselves and I want to help people with the knowledge I have. I love what I do it allows me to make people smile. I often think if I  hadn't been diagnosed with Breast cancer and took a journey to learn who I was and what I wanted out my life, I may not be able to be here to write this blog about something I'm so passionate about that allows me to make people happy. I suffered a traumatic event in my life that lead to the start of my depression; the depression that makes you keep a happy face when your mind and soul are slowly being eaten alive – more than anything because you feel alone. If I touch one person in my life time I am winning. Depression is serious and I want to say that there is always help and you are not alone. Keep positive!


Dedicated to Robin Williams